About

I grew up in a Christian family and was blessed to be able to attend a Christian school when I was very young and then much later when I was in high school, with some years of public school in between. When I was around 6 years old, I remember praying with my mother to receive Jesus into my heart as my Savior. It is the only memory I have from that long ago. My youth was filled with enjoyment of retreats, youth groups, and other church events. There were times that I read the Bible and I memorized quite a few verses, but I never read it every day. Looking back, I would say I had a desire to be thought of as a good kid, but little to no desire for genuine holiness.

When I got into my junior and senior years of high school, I began to experiment with what I thought were the more serious sins...drinking, lust after girls, and especially hard rock and gothic rock music. At first, I felt very guilty after doing some of those things, but the feelings of guilt faded with time and repetition. After joining the Air Force and serving a number of years, I had no kind of spiritual practices whatsoever. I played in various bar bands in my off-duty time and continued the band / party life for quite a few years after getting assigned to Eglin Air Force Base, Florida. I had immoral relationships with various women, and then eventually married a Wiccan girl. Even after all of this immorality, if someone had asked me if I was a Christian, I would have said ‘Yes’. It’s amazing how deceitful the human heart is (Jer 17:9). Instead of thinking of the Gospel as the power of God to deliver a person from sin and immorality, I thought of it as fire insurance, or a free ticket to heaven. I was one of those whom Jude warns about, one of those who “turn the grace of our God into licentiousness and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.”

In the summer of 2007, a band that I was in was playing the bar scene for a while. We had recently gotten a new drummer named Nate who was a Christian and he had been playing with us for about a year by that summer. Although he played the songs with us, he didn’t curse, drink, smoke, etc. He was different...like a genuinely good and responsible guy. He went to church every week, and at one point I think I had met his pastor. One night, very late, our band was gathering our gear to haul it away from a gig, when Nate and his wife got into some kind of disagreement. I don’t remember what it was about, but I do remember watching them and hearing Nate curse for the first time. It was at this point that the Holy Spirit seemed to grip my heart (John 16:8, Ezekiel 36:25-27).